Shelter-in-place

Well…we didn’t anticipate this. I can’t help but feel selfish to focus on myself in the midst of a global health crisis. What privilege we had to take time off from work and throw ourselves at the universe for a few months of adventure and travel. The irony of the clashing times slaps me in the face every day as the number of coronavirus cases rise. A world pandemic in the middle of our four-month romantic honeymoon when we have no jobs and pay our health insurance out of pocket. The economy is crashing and they say it will “take time to recover” yet a vaccine will not be distributed for at least a year, so where does that put us?

Jon and I are in California. We were planning to be in the Grand Canyon by now but we called off our plans when Jon got a head cold in the Mojave desert and we needed to make sure it wasn’t coronavirus. With more daily contact with the news, we began to reassess our trip.

STAGE 1: DENIAL

We decided to try camping for a few days at a state park closer by and see how that went before making any big decisions. Surely, we could find a balance? We often backcountry hike and camp where we rarely see more than two people in a day.

We chose a location based on our ability to not have to stop at any extra places. Our way in to the Anza-Borrego State Park last week, we got gas and groceries accumulated from regular runs, made sure not to stop at all in towns in between or around the park. While there, we maintained at minimum 6 feet distance from others at all times, even taking detours on trails as needed. We chose less popular trails and used hand sanitizer or disinfectant wipes often (though my stash is admittedly beginning to run low since it was acquired pre-pandemic).

After five wonderful days in Anza-Borrego, we learned that nowadays, a California State Park badge on the side of a truck is all it takes to know that our stint of camping is over.

STAGE 2: ANGER

We aren’t getting direct answers from those in power. We do not currently have a president or executive branch that is telling us what will keep us or others safe. I need to know what the answer is for myself, so that I can determine how to proceed forward in my life without harming others.

If only the hoards of people who visited the park over the weekend had behaved better! We tried hard to be on our best behavior and tried our best to follow all health regulations, why couldn’t others? Do we not have clear enough rules and guidelines?

Before I got the news last Sunday, the thrill I got from hiking into the mountain wilderness was so great that I didn’t want to come back at all. As the ranger who delivered the news walked away from our campsite, I closed my eyes to remember following the game tracks around the valley onto a ridge with nineteen hawks slowly soaring a few meters overhead. A slight breeze reminded me of the harsh winds that accompanied the most ridiculous views over the feet of the mountain range which spilled onto a desert basin.

Where else can I go to see the horizon like here – a blurred mix of desert floor, Salton Sea and sky? I have never felt more of this earth than now and I am not ready to part with that feeling.

STAGE 3: BARGAINING

Going back to work wouldn’t completely tear me away from that feeling but it would make it less than the plans we had to continue on for two more months. This was our dream trip and we are heartbroken. We were fighting for bits more pieces, but trying to be conscientious of the situation at the same time. Is there balance to continue our trip? Is it possible? And conversely, will there be a job market afloat in a month or two? Are we endangering people by continuing?

The panic and pain of the reality began to hit me after we got the news that California State Parks are now closed: How do we ingest this? Where do we go? Literally, tomorrow? After that? Can we plan out any further than a few days before another thing pops up? Do we apply for work? Is our trip over?

Could Jon and I keep going by only visiting parks during the weekdays so that others can be open to use them on the weekends? Will there be places where backcountry camping will still be allowed? How about National Parks instead? If we made some adjustments to our packing, we could carry more water and food supplies and not have to stop the car for even a further distance. Then we could maybe go out still to Yosemite or Death Valley?

On the ride back to our temporary home base (my parent’s place), I began reading about the closures at national parks within a safe distance. The lists were extensive and closures indefinite. I began wondering what park officials would say if I asked the dreaded question: “Can we keep searching for camping or are we being irresponsible?”

STAGE 4: DEPRESSION

The state park ranger last night was a sweet man, though he delivered the news of the closure of all California state parks he answered our questions with great sensitivity. He’s doing his best to protect people so I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I held it in until he drove on to the next site.

STAGE 5: ACCEPTANCE

I’m still working on this one, please check back in later.

We could chase wind, jumping from camping spot to camping spot, hoping to not see another park ranger. We could continue with our dream trip. We could even wait it out a few weeks to see how some dust settles. At the end of the day, we mostly don’t want to be in any way related to the spreading of this ugly virus. On the ride home from the state park yesterday, we decided that we have two choices: we can either wait until some dust settles to see what comes of the situation or we can kick ourselves out of our trip and find meaningful work, stability, and return sometime in the future.

We have decided to head north towards Oregon probably next week. We’re beginning to apply to jobs, hoping that we can still have some outdoor adventures as we embark on that process as well. We’re grateful for the time we had and though it’s painful to part from it, the parks will still be there when this is through.

We are sticking around southern California for a bit longer since my childhood dog, who is now 16 years old, is very near the end of her life. We are mourning our plans for the rest of our trip, celebrating the life of our sweet family dog, and hoping for a brighter future for the world and our country.

I hope that you reader are happy and healthy. Please remember to be responsible during this time in order to not spread the virus.

Any thoughts or opinions? Or perhaps you would like to share a bit of how COVID-19 has affected your life? Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

If you would like more information on your own outdoor recreating, see this great post about how Colorado’s stay-at-home order applies to outdoor recreation: https://theknow.denverpost.com/2020/03/31/colorado-stay-at-home-order-outdoor-recreation/236410/?utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_content=fb-denverpost&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR1760r7dz-3ay0DHOtnlyfdB-3BAmlesshDxWGyCID9csGsWHiCWRCB4ag